


falling in love, the whole world watching

by banditchika



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: ... or an attempt at it, F/F, First Kiss, deux ex kokoro is hardly the least confusing thing bandori's ever pulled it might as well happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 13:05:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16577063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banditchika/pseuds/banditchika
Summary: Or: three times that Sayo and Tsugumi try to have their first kiss, and the one time they actually manage it.





	falling in love, the whole world watching

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rosenkrone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosenkrone/gifts).



> long overdue commission piece for one of my favorite bandori pairings!! thank you for the commission, and i hope you enjoy it!!

They shouldn’t be doing this.

So many things about this run so _contrary_ to Sayo’s nature that she can barely begin to list them. They’re in the dressing rooms, for one thing, where anyone could walk in and see: Afterglow’s keyboardist and Roselia’s guitarist with their arms around one another, Tsugumi’s head nestled in the crook of Sayo’s neck in a way that could never be explained as platonic.

She’s held Tsugumi before, of course. They’ve come far enough that Sayo doesn’t have to ask for permission to take Tsugumi’s hand anymore. She can reach out with the faith that Tsugumi wants her too, and that as much as they may stumble and stutter and apologize, at least they’re figuring things out together. At least they have one another.

But this—Tsugumi’s fingers curled around the nape of Sayo’s neck, her breath a warm touch at Sayo’s jaw, her chest pressed right up against Sayo’s— _this,_ they’ve never even begun to discuss.

“Tsugumi,” Sayo manages. Her voice nearly cracks when Tsugumi pulls back just far enough to meet her eyes. They shine in the way only brown eyes do, reflecting like the warmest mirror. Sayo wants so badly to be the girl she sees in Tsugumi’s eyes—the girl that Tsugumi sees in her—but what Tsugumi’s gleaming eyes reflect now is... unknown. “What are we—”

“Is this alright?” Tsugumi breathes, and Sayo’s treacherous heart races ahead of herself with great, bounding leaps. Oh, _Tsugumi..._

“Yes. Yes.”

Sayo almost can’t bear to watch as Tsugumi begins to lean in. It’s all so much. Too much. Tsugumi in that sleeveless, navel-baring uniform, with her hair pulled back and thighs exposed? Sayo can barely handle one of those things on a good day. It’s a wonder that Sayo hasn’t already collapsed, with all of Tsugumi pressed against her and inching closer.

Her chest feels strained, too full to fit her body—when Tsugumi bumps her nose against hers, Sayo realizes that it’s because she hasn’t been breathing at all, and a shaky exhale joins  Tsugumi’s nervous giggle.

“Sorry. Let me try that again.”

“Take—take as long as you need.”

“Honestly, Sayo-chan?” Tsugumi strokes the back of her neck with gloved fingers, and the thrill travels all the way down to the tips of her toes, electricity tingling in its wake. “I don’t want to wait anymore.”

“Tsugumi—”

The dressing room door slams open.

“Oh,” says Ran, and freezes in the doorway. She blinks at them, owlish, and jerks her head up to the ceiling with such speed that Sayo half-expects to hear a _snap._ Her eyes stay fixed to the ceiling as though waiting for it to free her from this mortal coil.

Sayo knows the feeling. She can’t scramble away from Tsugumi fast enough, knee crashing painfully into the leg of the table with an impact that almost sends her tumbling to the floor.

She’s saved by Tsugumi, who catches her elbow just in time and keeps Sayo from injuring something vital. Her heroism is for naught. The rest of Afterglow materialize as if summoned, a bouquet of heads flowering around Ran’s narrowed shoulders to pay witness to Sayo’s impropriety.

Himari barely wrangles her squeal into a choked gasp when Sayo steadies herself against Tsugumi’s shoulder, and Sayo flushes when she catches sight of Himari’s pink cheeks.

“Ohooo,” Moca says. Her eyes flick between Sayo’s disheveled hair, Tsugumi’s blush, and their joined hands, a growing leer stretching her lean face. Sayo catches the quick pink flick of Moca’s tongue against the points of her teeth and nearly _writhes_ with embarrassment. _“Get it_ , Tsugu. Was Sayo-san any good?”

“Moca-chan!” Tsugumi shoots out of her seat. “W-we weren’t doing anything!”

“Told you the new outfit would get her laid,” Moca whispers into Himari’s ears. Himari nods rapidly, face nearly matching the red of her uniform as she stares at them between her fingers. Sayo understands a little more now how zoo animals might feel. There’s nowhere for them to hide from Moca’s prying eyes and nothing to mask her wagging tongue—though from prior experience, Sayo supposes that’s rather the point of Moca’s feeble attempt at subtly. “I guess Sayo-san is a legs kinda girl after all~”

“Hey, Moca. Remember our little talk? About respecting women?” Tomoe’s voice is muffled. She’s facing the wall, hands over her face as though she can smother the memory of what she’s seen through sheer, stubborn, head-in-the-sand determination. Sayo supposes she appreciates the sentiment, even if it makes her feel as though she’s done something _truly_ inappropriate, rather than the... inappropriate thing they were actually doing.

(She’s not very good at self-justification, is she?)

“Ehhhh… but if Tsugu’s done something really Tsugurific with Sayo-san, then I wanna knoooow. Don’t lie and say you’re not curious too, Tomo-chin.”

Tomoe’s ears glow with a luminescent blush. “Time and a place for everything.”

“Okay, that’s enough! You’re bothering Sayo-chan!” Tsugumi, red-faced and sweating, rounds up her friends and shoos them out the door, leaning all her weight into Moca’s back when the girl makes like a starfish and attaches herself to the door frame with all limbs spread. “Moca-chaaaaaan!”

“Tsugu, make sure you give your beloved Moca-chan all the deets later, ‘kaaaay? My poor, old heart can’t rest easy ‘till I know I’ve given you away to an A-plus kisser.”

A black-gloved hand reaches back through the doorway and fists itself in Moca’s collar. “Sorry. We’ll go now,” Ran says, and _yanks_ Moca away with practiced, almost comedic ease. Moca manages to wiggle her fist—pinky and thumb extended to mimic a phone—by her ear before she’s dragged off, leaving Sayo and Tsugumi alone in the dressing room once again.

Tsugumi sighs and collapses into the couch. Sayo can empathize. She didn’t manage to get a single word into the exchange and still feels exhausted. She’s sure her cheeks must look striking against her hair, a hot blush and prickling sweat tickling her skin. She wants to lock the door and sink herself into her guitar until she forgets this ever happened.

But Sayo isn’t the only wounded party here. She’ll be mortified for months, but at least she won’t be subject to the teasing that Tsugumi surely will.

“Are you alright?” she asks, crouching in front of Tsugumi. She massages the tendons of Tsugumi’s hand and draws out a weary smile.

“Don’t worry about me, Sayo-chan. Moca-chan didn’t mean anything by it. Tomoe-chan and Ran-chan will scold her for the rest of the week, probably. We’re always like this.”

“That sounds… eventful.” Sayo enjoys spending time with Afterglow—Ran’s thoughts on music are always enlightening and Moca’s style of playing is simply _fascinating—_ but just imagining having to constantly handle that level of activity exhausts her. Tsugumi is truly amazing.

“It is, but we love each other anyway. I’m still sorry about all of…” She flaps her free hand. “... all of that, though. I know you don’t like other people talking about us.”

“It was outside of your control.” Sayo kneels when Tsugumi purses her lips, unconvinced. Tsugumi brushes her bangs from her face, familiar, comforting. She guides Sayo down to her lap. Sayo goes easily, laying her head on Tsugumi’s knees and sighing when Tsugumi cards her fingers through her hair. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” she murmurs, eyes sliding shut. “If anything, I should be apologizing.”

“Huh? W-what for?”

“I don’t dislike others speaking of us.” She worries the material of Tsugumi’s skirt. Sayo’s accustomed now to the attention of others. Her accomplishments as Roselia’s guitarist are feats to be proud of, but sometimes even she yearns for more. Just a little more; a small happiness of her own, separate of the guitar and everything associated with it.

How selfish.

“It makes me proud. Happy, that others can call me yours,” she says carefully. Tsugumi squeaks, clever fingers freezing in her hair. “I only wanted to keep what I have with you.” Sayo closes her eyes. “For once, to not have to share. It was selfish of me. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, don’t be!” Tsugumi’s reassurance is immediate. She strokes the top of Sayo’s head, her shoulders. Sayo wonders if this is as soothing for her as it is for Sayo when she’s invited to touch Tsugumi. “Maybe it is selfish, but I don’t blame you. I feel the same way too.”

“You do?”

Tsugumi’s laugh is so unlike herself that Sayo cranes her neck up to look at her. Tsugumi’s brown, doe eyes are surprisingly rueful. “I’m an only child, but… everyone in Afterglow has known each other for so long that sometimes it doesn’t feel that way.” She flaps her hands, and Sayo misses them in her hair already.

“I mean, I love it! I really do. I love everyone. But Moca-chan and Ran-chan have always been like this,” she says, crossing her fingers together, “and Himari-chan and Tomoe-chan are each other’s very best friends. They don’t mean to leave me out or anything, but when everyone else is in a pair, it’s kind of hard not to be the—the fifth wheel, you know?”

No, she doesn’t know, not really. Sayo hasn’t ever had anything like Tsugumi has with her friends; even Roselia, whom are as close to a friend group as she’s ever had, can’t compare to the level of closeness that Tsugumi and her bandmates share. Even baring her heart to Tsugumi, who holds it in its entirety, can make Sayo freeze up, indecisive and frightened at the intimacy.

Ah, but she does have something similar, doesn’t she? Yukina and Lisa always go home together, without fail. Sayo may tend to walk with Rinko after practice, but there are days where Rinko apologizes with her head bowed, Ako sheepishly trailing just behind.

Sayo has been alone for so long that it doesn’t ache to be thrust back into it, but even she feels the loss when Roselia breaks up into their accustomed pairs, leaving her on the outskirts.

“Yes,” she says, testing the answer on her tongue. It rings true. “I understand.”

Tsugumi’s cheeks dimple. “Ah… I thought you would. But I don’t mind so much anymore! Because I have something of my own now, too! Someone special, just for me.” She snatches up Sayo’s hands and leans down, close enough that Sayo can feel her breath fanning across her face.

Ah, that’s right. Just earlier, they were…

“I have you now, Sayo-chan!” Tsugumi chirps, and Sayo is certain that she’s blushing redder than Tsugumi’s costume. “This is kinda like our own little secret, right? I mean, even if everyone knows… I think it’s special.”

“It is.”

Sayo has long outgrown childish promises, but she hooks her pinky around Tsugumi’s anyways when she holds it out. Tsugumi’s responding smile makes the brief flash of embarrassment worth it.

 

* * *

 

Sayo knows she’s made a mistake the second she closes her bedroom door. The lock clicks and that’s it. Sayo is done for.

She freezes, clutching the doorknob in a white-knuckled grip as Tsugumi beams up at her from the foot of the bed.

It had been the only compromise they could come to. No one visited Sayo or Hina with enough frequency to warrant having tables in their rooms that weren’t their desks, and Tsugumi had refused to sit because she didn’t want to take the only chair in Sayo’s bedroom, and then Sayo had refused the desk because she couldn’t allow a guest to sit on the floor…

So now they’re studying on the bed. Alone together, in Sayo’s room.

And she’s just closed the door.

Sayo swallows. She didn’t think this through.

“Sayo-chan?” Tsugumi asks. She tilts her head and Sayo can’t help but flush. How ridiculous; Tsugumi can’t read minds, and even if she could, it’s not like Sayo’s thinking anything _bad!_ Just… forward, and perhaps slightly inappropriate. “Is something wrong?”

“No, I’m fine.” Sayo peels herself away from the door. Opening it again would only draw more attention to herself, so she schools her expression into neutrality and takes a seat on the bed—an appropriate distance away from Tsugumi, of course. Everything in her body screams for her to run out into the living room and bury her face in a sofa pillow until her heart stops kicking like a child throwing a tantrum, but she flips a workbook open and asks, “What do we want to work on first?”

“Um…” Tsugumi gnaws on her bottom lip and Sayo digs her fingers into the bedsheets, looking anywhere but at her face. She is going to expire before dinner -- either Tsugumi will kill her or the effort of holding herself back will. Sayo has never thought of herself as particularly amorous, but all she wants to do when she’s with Tsugumi is to hold her and be held in turn.

It sounds very good in theory. But then comes the issue of separating, and not even Sayo has that kind of willpower when Tsugumi is so soft, so warm, so loving, and the sound of her giggles against Sayo’s ears are so…

Ugh. She sounds like Lisa. She loves Tsugumi, she does, but she doesn’t ever want to come off as lovesick as Lisa does. That’s just _too_ much.

“Sayo-chan?”

“Yes!” Sayo jerks when Tsugumi touches her shoulder. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that? My mind wandered. Sorry.”  

“No, it’s alright! I zone out sometimes too,” Tsugumi reassures her with a dimpled smile, charitable as always. She taps her workbook. “I was thinking we could go over English? I took notes, but there’s a few parts that I’m shaky on.”

“Of course.” Math and science are her forte, but it’s important to be well-rounded. Plus, Yukina’s English isn’t the best, so Sayo needs to be proficient enough to check their lyrics for errors. “What are you having trouble with, specifically?”

“Well…” Tsugumi flips through the book. She stops on a particularly colorful page and tucks a lock of hair behind one round ear. “I’m a little confused about the difference between neither and nor? I think I know what they mean, but Moca-chan was laughing when I was helping Himari-chan with her homework, so I wasn’t sure if I got it right.” Her shoulders droop. “And then Himari-chan got angry, and Tomoe-chan jumped in, and in the end, I never did figure out whether I was teaching Himari-chan wrong…”

“I see. May I?” Sayo takes Tsugumi’s notebook and flips through it. Her handwriting is exquisite, very different from the bubbly scribbles that Sayo often caught glimpses of when she visited Hazawa Cafe. The characters in Tsugumi’s notebook are so neat that they could have been typed. “Your definitions are correct, but neither and nor tend to be paired together in English, so when they’re in the same sentence, you have to be careful not to cancel them out with a double negative.”

Tsugumi leans over, resting her weight against Sayo’s side. Sayo is so stiff that someone could make a guitar stand out of her, but Tsugumi doesn’t notice.

She hums as she reads her notes over, hand coming to rest beside Sayo’s on the page. Sayo doesn’t dare breathe. “Oh, so it’s like that? I understand now! What a relief… I really thought I was teaching Himari-chan wrong!”

She’s still leaning against Sayo and doesn’t seem inclined to move. Sayo herself isn’t sure whether she wants Tsugumi to move or put her arms around her. “Do you tutor your friends often, Tsugumi?” Sayo asks to distract herself.

“Tutoring is a little bit much,” Tsugumi laughs, tugging at the ends of her bob. “Moca-chan’s the real genius in our group, but I help out if I can! Himari-chan and Tomoe-chan don’t take very good notes, so I try to be detailed when I take mine. They usually understand if I lend them my notebook.”

“It’s admirable of you to go to such lengths for your friends.” Sayo carefully reaches around Tsugumi’s waist to pick up her own notebook. “I’m proud of how I take my notes, but yours looks like a prep book.”

“Taking it like that helps me too! Things are easier for me to group together when they’re color-coded,” Tsugumi explains. She shifts even closer, chin resting on Sayo’s shoulder. “I can’t tell how you organize your notes though, Sayo-chan…”  

“Highlight—” Sayo chokes as she gets a whiff of Tsugumi’s shampoo. The scent is soft and sweet, just like the rest of her. When they’re arranged like this, Tsugumi is practically sitting in Sayo’s lap. All she has to do is swing her legs just so, and then they’d really be doing something inappropriate—something that her heart is certainly ready for, but most certainly not her spirit. “Highlighter! I use highlighter when I review my notes before bed.”

“Oh, that sounds helpful!” Tsugumi nods to herself and Sayo gulps, all-too-aware of the hand still lingering around Tsugumi’s hip. “I have to help my mom get the kitchen ready for morning prep work after dinner, but maybe I could make time to do that too.”

“Perhaps,” Sayo says. Tsugumi beams up at her, and—oh, her face is close. Charming dimples and smiling lips and a slightly crooked incisor, getting closer and closer by the second as Tsugumi rests her hand on Sayo’s collar and leans in.

Sayo squeezes her eyes shut. Her heart is pounding so hard and fast that it’s a wonder it doesn’t pop out of her chest and into Tsugumi’s hand. She wonders if Tsugumi has her eyes open, what she looks like as she’s going in for the kiss.

Her breath is warm on Sayo’s face. It’s almost ticklish, and Sayo feels the faintest brush of Tsugumi’s lips against hers—

_“HINA-CHAN!?”_

Sayo’s leg jerks. Tsugumi springs away, hands flying over her mouth. They stare at each other wide-eyed, before Sayo lunges off the bed and throws open the door. She barely remembers to hold it open for Tsugumi before she’s shooting down the hallway, bare feet pounding against hardwood.  

Sayo wrenches her sister’s bedroom door open, Tsugumi hot at her heels. “Hina!?”

Maruyama Aya stares back at her with wide, teary eyes. Hina lays sprawled out on the floor.

“Oh, hey, Sis.” She lazily pats Aya’s thigh. “Aya-chan came over!”

“I can see that.” Sayo’s heart is heavy in her throat. “What happened?”

“Oh, Aya-chan and I were just fooling around. Y’know, doing this and—” Hina pushes herself off the floor. “Wait, Is that Tsugu-chin? Hi, Tsugu!”

“Hi, Hina-senpai?” Tsugumi pokes her head around Sayo’s shoulder. “Um… are you okay?”

“Everything’s kind of swimming,” Hina says casually, like she’s commenting on the weather. “Aya-chan threw me off the bed!”

“I’m _so_ sorry!” Aya slaps her hands against the floor and bows. Sayo’s so startled that she backs into Tsugumi, who steadies her with a hand on her hip. “I didn’t mean to, I just panicked, and—”

“Eeeh, you don’t have to apologize! It was all my fault. I won’t stick my tongue in next time, I promise!”

“Your _tongue!?”_ Sayo chokes. Aya is as pink as her hair and nearly achieves luminescence when Hina rubs her cheek against her shoulder like an affectionate cat.

“Tongue…” Tsugumi whispers. She touches her fingers to her lips, thoughtful.

“Tugh!” Hina sticks hers out and points at it like she’s being helpful. “I really am sorry though, Aya-chan. I should have asked if it was okay before I did it.”

“I still shouldn’t have kicked you off the bed,” Aya sighs, “but thanks for being considerate.” She brushes Hina’s bangs away from her face and smiles when Hina catches her hand and peppers it with kisses.

“Oh, and sorry for interrupting your date with Tsugu, Sis,” Hina says mid-kiss. Then slyly, “It is a date, _right?_ ”

“Are you on a date, Hina-senpai?” Tsugumi asks, saving Sayo from having to sputter out an answer.

“I guess we are! Oh, but can you tell me what you didn’t like about my tongue, Aya-chan? I want to know! Was it too slimy? Did my breath smell?”

“Huh!? Well, um—!”

Okay, she doesn’t want to hear any of _that_. “If the two of you are alright, then Tsugumi and I are leaving,” interrupts Sayo. She escorts Tsugumi out and closes the door behind her.

“Wow. I didn’t expect that at all,” Tsugumi giggles, the hand on Sayo’s hip drifting up to her forearm. “Is Hina-senpai always like that at home?”

“No. She’s usually pretty quiet when she’s in her room.” Out of consideration for Sayo, mostly, but Hina can get so engrossed in her hobbies that she doesn’t come out for hours on end. “But Maruyama-san doesn’t come over very often, so she must be very excited right now.”

“Are they dating?”

“For two months now, I believe.” Tsugumi smiles and Sayo raises a brow. “Why do you ask?”

“They started dating after we did, didn’t they?” She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, smiling, and Sayo’s heart swells with wonder for this sweet-faced, kind-hearted girl.

“Next week marks three months,” says Sayo, resting her cheek against the top of Tsugumi’s head. “Do you want to do something to celebrate? We have practice on Friday, but at night...”

Oh, that actually sounds rather—

Sayo’s shoulders creep up to her ears. She clears her throat. “Afterwards, we can get dinner?” Her voice sounds too high, and she prays Tsugumi doesn’t notice. “What do you want to do?”

As if sensing her anxiety, Tsugumi brushes her lips against Sayo’s jaw. Her cheeks are dimpled when she pulls back. “Dinner’s great! Anything’s fine if it’s with you, Sayo-chan.”

“Y-yes, of course. I mean, you too. I’ll see you then?” Sayo fumbles with her words and resists the urge to touch her face.

“We should get back to studying.” She leads Tsugumi back to her bedroom, and this time, doesn’t shut the door.

 

* * *

 

“Saaaayo,” Lisa purrs, stretching her arms out over the cafe table. “A little birdie told me that you have a date this Friday!”

“I often do, yes.” Sayo sips her coffee as Lisa mimes being shot.

“Aah, rub it in, why don’t you? Not all of us can be carved out of marble and have cute girlfriends and cute dates.” Lisa sweeps her mane of hair over her shoulder as Sayo coughs, choking on her drink. “So where are you taking Tsugu? Not to a family restaurant, I hope. Anniversary dates should be special!”

Sayo clears her throat. Lisa’s eyebrows shoot up into her bangs. “Wait, seriously? _Really,_ Sayo?”

“What’s wrong with family restaurants if we both enjoy eating there? Besides, I’m taking her to a new one. One with foods we’ve never tried before.” Why is she trying so hard to justify herself? Lisa’s not the one she’s taking on a date! There’s also the pressing issue of… “Just who are you getting this information from, Lisa-san?”

“A reliable and trusted source.” Lisa laughs when Sayo wrinkles her nose. “Ahaha, I’m just kidding, Moca-san mentioned that Tsugu had a date when we were working on Tuesday.”

“I see,” Sayo says, smiling despite herself. Moca needs to learn how to keep her mouth shut. Perhaps she’ll try to convince her of the virtues of silence the next time they see one another, but to be honest? She’s not actually that upset.

Ever since Tsugumi came over, she’s been thinking of Friday in the easy hours of the day, every day. In between classes, on the train home, as she’s waiting for her hair to dry before bed—she can’t seem to get her mind off of Tsugumi. Nor does she want to.

What is she doing? What is she thinking? Is she excited? Sayo certainly is. Of course, she’s nervous too, but butterflies are still butterflies. She wants Friday to come faster. She wants to see Tsugumi soon.

“You should see your face right now,” Lisa says. Her lips are curved in her usual catlike smile, a softness usually reserved for Yukina gleaming in her eyes. “Love looks good on you, Sayo~”

Sayo flushes. She won’t lie: it’s nice, being able to talk to Lisa about Tsugumi. Hina has been incomprehensible almost all her life, and if Rinko or Yukina think about girls, they certainly don’t show it. So having Lisa in her life, both readily available and eager to discuss Sayo’s relationship, is quite a relief.

The downside is that Lisa takes all the embarrassing, sappy things that she can’t say to Yukina and channels it for the sole purpose of embarrassing her, and Sayo isn’t okay with that.

She stands and sweeps their trash into her palms as Lisa laughs and laughs. “Practice is starting again. Finish your drink.”

“Think about what I said, Sayo!” Lisa calls as Sayo steps into CiRCLE. “I’m totally down to help you with a makeover if you wanna impress your girlfrieeend~!”

“We’re not going to get anything done messing around like this, Imai-san.”

 

* * *

 

“—so then Moca-chan crawled into Himari-chan’s lap and tried to lick her face, and Ran-chan got so red, I actually thought about calling the hospital!”

Sayo’s cheeks hurt from smiling. Tsugumi swings their linked hands, and it’s such a sweet, earnest gesture that she can’t help but join in too, not caring about how silly they must look. “Are all your lunch periods that chaotic?”

“Well—not always. Even we can’t be all high tension, all the time. But things are never quiet with Moca-chan and Himari-chan around.”

“I tend to eat alone,” says Sayo. “How on Earth do you get things done during your lunch periods?”

“We don’t!” Tsugumi’s laughter is infectious. Sayo’s so overwhelmed, so in love. She hides her grin in back of Tsugumi’s hand and presses a kiss to her knuckles. “Sometimes we get so into talking that we forget to finish our food.”

She pauses, nose wrinkling. “Well, everyone but Moca-chan, anyway. Moca-chan will finish her food no matter what.”

Oh, Sayo can believe it. She remembers the last time Tsugumi invited her to dinner with Afterglow and the spit-shiny plate that was once Moca’s meal. “Ah, speaking of eating.” It’s a struggle to fish her planner out of her bag with only one hand, but Sayo manages. “You mentioned the other day that you wanted to try Italian cuisine, so I’ve made a list of every Italian restaurant within three stops.”

She flips through her planner as Tsugumi tugs them off to the side of the road. Her cheek is warm against Sayo’s bicep, even through the uniform. “Oh, I’ve heard about that one,” Tsugumi says, tapping her finger against one of Sayo’s entries. “Tomoe-chan told me that Saaya-chan really recommends their spaghetti aglow… aglio…” She flounders. “Something! I’ll ask Saaya-chan about it the next time I’m at her bakery.”

Cute. “Do you want to go there for dinner, then?”

“I’d like that.” Tsugumi’s shy smile shows off that crooked incisor, the point digging into the soft pink of her lower lip. Sayo’s eyes linger just a second too long.

“I believe that restaurant requires formal dress,” Sayo says, the vague impression of a plan beginning to form like puzzle pieces slotting together. It battles against the intrusive but not entirely unwanted image of Tsugumi in a fine dress. “Would that— _is_ that alright with you?”

Tsugumi grins. “More than!” She snatches up Sayo’s hand the second her planner disappears into her bag and tugs her along. Sayo nearly stumbles trying to keep up with Tsugumi’s energetic pace, but she doesn’t mind at all—not when Tsugumi is smiling so widely, cheeks dimpled and eyes bright.

She wonders what Tsugumi is thinking. If it’s along the same lines as Sayo, she should call Lisa if she wants even a chance of living up to the Sayo that Tsugumi must imagine she’ll be seeing on Friday.  

 

* * *

 

Her father drives her to the restaurant. Sayo tried to insist that he didn’t have to, but for once, the entire family—and Lisa, who captivated Sayo’s mother almost as quickly as Tsugumi had—was in agreement. Hina even teared up as she sent Sayo off at the door, though for the life of her, Sayo can’t imagine why. Her dress is very nice, true, but Sayo’s worn more complex things for the Roselia performances that Hina’s not supposed to attend but does anyway.

“Take care, Sayo,” her father says when she slides out of the passenger’s seat. Sayo agrees to call when the date ends and is left leaning alone against the storefront, waiting for Tsugumi.  

People are staring. People often stare at Sayo, but she doesn’t think she stands out among the restaurant’s other patrons. She’s a bit younger, certainly, but Saaya is even younger and if she frequents this place, surely Sayo isn’t that out of place.

Perhaps it’s the dress. But no; she trusts Lisa’s fashion. Lisa could walk into a sale and come out with more money than she brought. Maybe it’s not the dress that’s the issue, but—

“Sayo-chan?”

Tsugumi rounds the corner. Her voice is breathy; her sweet, round eyes are wide. Her warm smile falls from her face as soon as she catches sight of Sayo.

“Tsugumi.” Sayo fidgets with her clutch. Tsugumi’s mouth falls open the way it always does when she’s surprised. The moment she spends staring is surely the longest of Sayo’s life, until she steps closer and brushes her fingertips over the bare skin of Sayo’s forearm, the touch so light that it’s more suggestion than sensation.

“You look…” Tsugumi’s voice trails off. “O-oh, you really look…”

Sayo fidgets under her scrutiny. “I-it’s not—it’s not very special. This isn’t even my dress.” She clears her throat. “You look wonderful.”

And she does. Tsugumi wears a lot of browns. Cardigans, oversized jackets, plain dresses—soft, muted colors that make Sayo think of squirrels poking their heads out of trees. But tonight she is resplendent in blue—a simple dress paired with flowers clipped in her hair, and the thought that she might have chosen it with Sayo’s color in mind has her cheeks burning.

“Not like you, Sayo-chan,” Tsugumi finally manages. Her fingers lace through Sayo’s like they were always meant to be there. “You’re the prettiest girl in the world. Did someone do your hair?”

“Imai-san did.” She self-consciously brushes a strand of hair away from her eyes with her free hand. That part of her bangs never stays in place no matter how much Sayo fusses with it in the shower or attacks it with her brush. “It’s not too much, is it?”

“No! No, it’s perfect!” Tsugumi’s so fervent that she bobs up on her toes, and for a second Sayo imagines leaning down and— “It looks a little too complicated for going to school and practice and stuff, but right now it’s just, just perfect.” She shakes her head. “Wow. I’m the luckiest.”

“I should be the one saying that,” Sayo mumbles. It’s one thing when Lisa or her family says it, but when Tsugumi whispers it like that, like she’s afraid to be overheard but can’t help herself anyways—Sayo’s flattered. No, more than that. She adores Tsugumi. She _loves_ her.

“Maybe we’re both lucky then!” Tsugumi seizes Sayo’s hand with her usual dimpled smile. “Are you hungry? We should go inside. I called and made reservations, but if we wait around too long, who knows what they’ll do with them.”

Sayo lets Tsugumi lead her into the restaurant. It’s kind of a blur. Sayo doesn’t catch much of the interior as they’re brought to their table, too fixated on the way Tsugumi's shoulder blades flex through her thin dress. She barely remembers to pull out Tsugumi’s seat for her.

Her clumsiness marches on through the night. She nearly knocks over her water, too distracted by the candlelight flickering in Tsugumi’s eyes to pay attention, and almost drops her menu onto the floor when Tsugumi peeks out from behind the leather binding to smile at her.

She’s never been so embarrassed. Thankfully, Tsugumi seems to be just as nervous as she is.

“Wow,” she says, mouth a little slack. Tsugumi shakes her head, wonder written all over her face. “You’re probably tired of hearing me say so, but you really look beautiful, Sayo-chan. I can hardly believe it. N-not that you don’t look nice _every_ day, you’re always gorgeous, but I’ve never seen you like this before! The dress really suits you, and your hair...”

She reaches across the table and runs her fingers along an intricate braid. Sayo thinks she might chug her water glass in one go.

“Imai-san was kind enough to help me prepare,” she manages to choke out as Tsugumi’s hand wanders, soft fingertips brushing the shell of her ear. “I--I should give her a gift to thank her tomorrow.”

“Wah, Lisa-senpai did all this? That’s incredible!” Tsugumi pulls away and gently touches her own fingers to her bottom lip. Sayo stares a moment too long. Tsugumi is always lovely, rosy-cheeked and bright-eyed and perpetually animated, but now there’s a hint of smoke around her eyes. It’s new, captivating, and Sayo wants to taste the gloss on her lips.

The waiter comes and takes their orders before she can shame herself for her boldness, much less make an attempt. His departure seems to snap Tsugumi back to her usual, chipper self--the words bubble from her lips, small talk that Sayo finds so difficult to initiate coming like second nature.

It’s easy to talk to Tsugumi. She brings a light that leaves no room for brooding and hidden worries. With her, Sayo can simply… be. Tsugumi’s chatter can’t wash away all of her worries but being near her and that almost-painful earnestness makes things simpler somehow, quieting the voices that rear their heads at any thought of being _lesser._

Goodness. Sayo loves her.

She _loves_ her.

That shocking revelation comes over their entrees: some kind of seafood pasta for Tsugumi, and baked vegetables with spaghetti noodles for Sayo. Tsugumi scoops the carrots from Sayo’s dish onto her own plate with the utmost concentration and a rush of affection skewers Sayo to her seat, sharper than any arrow. It’s a bolt out of the blue, a stab right to the chest. It’s inertia. It’s inevitable.

Sayo finds her hand on Tsugumi’s wrist. The touch grounds her, though Tsugumi’s brows shoot behind her bangs. Words. Sayo needs to find her words.

“Tonight has been lovely.” Those are not the words she’s looking for.

“Mmhm! It has!” Tsugumi sets down her fork and turns the full force of her smile to Sayo. “I’ve never done anything like this before. We--I mean, Afterglow and I--we don’t really come to places like this. I was nervous, but I guess I shouldn’t have been. This kind of atmosphere suits you though, Sayo-chan. But me? Not so much...”

Sayo frowns. Tsugumi is prone to this at times; self-doubt and depreciation, of a different sort than the kind Lisa and Sayo engage in. She doesn’t see how Tsugumi could ever talk about herself so… lowly. Her smiles, her cheer, her initiative, and good-humor light her up from within; in fact, she seems to suit this place more than stiff, somber _Sayo_ does. It certainly hadn’t been Sayo the waiter had greeted so warmly, after all.

But she supposes she knows better than anyone that shining so brightly only makes it easier to see the shadow stretching before you. If only Tsugumi could see. If only Sayo could make her see.

She squeezes Tsugumi’s wrist and runs a hand over the soft skin.

“Tsugumi,” Sayo tries, circling the delicate bone with her thumb and index finger. “It’s only because of you that I can do this.” She’s never really had a cause to come to places like this. Her parents’ cooking, fast food, and the occasional trip to family restaurants sustain her. This place--fancy, fanciful--is new to her. She likes it. Or at least, she likes that Tsugumi enjoys it. “I think… I wouldn’t have enjoyed it otherwise.”

Tsugumi’s smile falters. “O-oh?”

“If I had come with my family, then I would have felt as though I’d rather stay home to practice. But because you were so excited about trying something new, I found myself excited too.” Sayo

gestures at herself. She only ever puts on this kind of dress for a live show; she would never have asked Lisa to do her makeup and hair for anyone other than Tsugumi. “I’ve never experienced so many new things as when I’m with you, or… or felt so enriched by them.”

“Sayo-chan…”

“It’s only because of you that this is possible.” Sayo’s cheeks warm as Tsugumi traces the shape of her chin. Tsugumi’s hand is so soft, so different from her own calloused ones. “Truly. Thank you, Tsugumi.”

She takes a deep breath.

Tsugumi leans in just as Sayo does, and Sayo’s blushing so hard that she swears Tsugumi must feel the warmth of it between them. Tsugumi’s eyes slide shut, but Sayo keeps hers wide open. How can she possibly kiss someone if she can’t see where she’s putting her lips? She wants to do this right.  

Approximately this color. Approximately this width. That’s all well and good in baking, but if Sayo tries to approximate this, she might just end up with her lips on Tsugumi’s nose or somewhere even more embarrassing.

Tsugumi deserves better. Tsugumi deserves the _best,_ and Sayo might be awkward and clumsy and cold, but this much, she can give to her.

She’s so close that she can almost taste the gloss on Tsugumi’s lips. Tsugumi’s thumb traces minuscule circles beside her chin, and Sayo readies herself, heart twisting in her throat.  

That’s when the bear crashes in.

Sayo lurches away so suddenly that she almost tips in her chair. She grabs the edge of the table in time, but the tablecloth jerks, spilling her water over her skirt. Before she can so much as flinch from the shock of ice water against her legs, a pair of hands, blazing warm, slap against the bare skin of her back.

“Oh, it’s Tsugumi! And you’re... Roselia!” The voice is bright and girlish, a splash of sunshine yellow in the dark wood and soft candlelight of the restaurant. Sayo turns and--of course. Of course it’s her.

“Tsurumaki-san,” Sayo hisses. She dabs at her skirt with her napkin, grimacing at the sodden drape of the fabric and the mess she’s making of the chair. It’s not ruined, thank goodness, but Sayo will have to dry clean it before returning it to Lisa rather than hand-washing it as she’d planned. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m about to perform, of course!” Kokoro steps back and _flips_ from their table, ridiculous hat remaining affixed to her head through positivity and possibly stupidity alone. She claps her hands. Michelle, hulking, neon pink, and empty-eyed--lumbers to her side. She looks remarkably sheepish for being a costume incapable of facial expressions, and Sayo catches a faint, “Sorry, Hikawa-senpai,” before Michelle drags a set of turntables into position.

The rest of Michelle’s band members appear as if summoned. Sayo is appalled by herself. To be so lost in Tsugumi that she didn’t notice _Hello Happy_ enter… now, that’s just embarrassing.

“Everyone!” Kokoro raises her arms in the air. All eyes and all light in the restaurant are drawn to her, moths to a brilliant sun. Even fire would seem dim near Kokoro. Sayo plucks sourly at her dripping skirt, wishing that megawatt energy would do her the kindness of drying her dress off, too. “Are you ready to smile?”

 _No,_ Sayo wants to say, thinking mournfully of her water and the softness of Tsugumi’s lips, but the restaurant’s other patrons are nowhere near inconvenienced by Hello Happy’s thunderous entrance. They smile and clap as the drums kick. Kokoro’s voice, louder than light, joins the purr of the guitar, and even Sayo can’t find it in herself to be upset when she sees Tsugumi swaying in her seat.

Sayo sighs. She leans back and lets her fingers shadow the movement of Kaoru’s on the frets. She can’t say that this how she expected their date to go.

But Tsugumi is happy. And that, more than anything, is what Sayo had hoped to achieve tonight.  

 

* * *

 

“Sayo-chan, you should have told me your skirt was wet! We could have left sooner!”

“We had not even finished dinner. I didn’t want you to go home hungry.”

“I could have eaten at home,” Tsugumi protests. Her lips curve sweetly when Sayo intertwines their fingers, but she wrestles them back into a worried pout even when Sayo brushes a thumb over the backs of her knuckles. “You didn’t have to suffer through a wet dress for so long! What if you--what if you caught a cold!?”

“I am certain that wouldn’t have happened.” Wet hair might have done Sayo in, but a skirt? It’s true that she had been uncomfortable, but it was nothing that Tsugumi’s good company couldn’t soothe. “But I’ll take precautions when I get home,” she adds when Tsugumi frowns at her.

“Please do. I’d feel bad if you got sick because of me…”

“The fault would then lie with Hello Happy World. You shouldn’t blame yourself for their impulsiveness.”

Tsugumi huffs but concedes. “I guess you’re right... but still! Take care, please?” Her hand squeezes soft around Sayo’s. “Can I come see you tomorrow? Just to make sure you’re feeling alright?”

She asks for permission, as though Sayo isn’t glad for any chance to be with her. “Of course. I’ll let my family know.”

Now that the dinnertime rush hour is past, the restaurant’s storefront is almost serene. They stand in silence, hand in hand, bathed in the glow of the light shining through the restaurant’s windows.

Sayo closes her eyes and relishes the blanket of the night. The sounds of the street and the undercurrent of conversation in the restaurant are almost distant from the bubble around herself and Tsugumi, a quietness born from comfort rather than awkwardness.

Silence follows Sayo like a shroud. It’s a product of her reputation, her strictness and the rigidity of her ways. But Tsugumi…

Tsugumi lets her be. Sayo has been changing, slowly, surely; for the better, she thinks. She likes who she is today a little more than she does the person she was yesterday. While Sayo can’t say that slow shift is due only to Tsugumi’s influence, that Tsugumi has been a part of her journey means more to her than Sayo, present and future, could ever hope to express.

At least, with words.

The streetlights gleam like stars when Sayo turns to face Tsugumi. Her round face seems even softer at this angle, suffused with the warmth from the restaurant and illuminated by affection. Sayo touches her rosy cheek with a hesitant hand. Tsugumi’s smile speaks worlds.

There’s no spectacle when Sayo finally kisses Tsugumi. No peeking eyes; Tsugumi’s back is turned to the windows, her face hidden by the fall of Sayo’s bangs. The city is content to rush by the affairs of two girls’ love.

In a backdrop of deep blue and studded lights, Sayo and Tsugumi’s bubble blooms.  

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoy my content, please check out my [tumblr](http://banditchika.tumblr.com/) or my [twitter](https://twitter.com/cardteetees) to learn more about my writing!!


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